Bottom Ten Movies of 2009
Jarred Braxton
In 2009, there were movies that were thrilling to behold and those that we wish we could forget. The time has comes to shine a spotlight on the ones we wish that could be forgotten but cannot.
This is a list of the top ten worst films of 2009, from ten as tenth worst to one being the absolute worst.
10. Instead of soaring, it gets boring. The #10 spot on the worst list goes to "Amelia," starring Academy Award winner Hilary Swank ("Million Dollar Baby," "Freedom Writers") as legendary aviatrix Amelia Earhart. The film chronicles her life from becoming the first woman to fly across the Atlantic to her mysterious disappearance on the home stretch her flight around the world.
The main problem with "Amelia," is that it has all of the standard information you would want to know about Amelia Earhart, but it doesn't take any risks. Swank is well cast as Earhart but she doesn't bring anything bold or outstanding to the character. The supporting roles played by Richard Gere ("An Officer and A Gentlemen") and Ewan McGregor (Star Wars Episode I-III) did not offer anything special either.
The movie didn't seem to have enough fuel from director Mira Nair to get off the ground.
9. It hit all the wrong chords. #9 is "The Soloist," directed by Joe Wright ("Atonement"). "The Soloist" stars Academy Award nominee Robert Downey, Jr. ("Iron Man," "Tropic Thunder") and Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx ("Ray," "Miami Vice") in a true story about a columnist for a California newspaper (Downey) who encounters and befriends a musical prodigy who suffers from schizophrenia (Fox).
Even with great performances from Downey and Foxx, the film itself seemed out of touch and unbalanced.
Maybe it had too many music montages, or overhead camera angles, or sequences that were just out of place, but "The Soloist" had the elements to come together, but instead it fell apart completely.
8. Boy, oh boy . The #8 spot goes to the animated film "Astro Boy." Based on the Japanese manga, "Astro Boy" tells the origins of the young hero of Metro City built by Dr. Tenma, as voiced by Nicolas Cage ("National Treasure"), in an attempt to replace his dead son. However, Astro, as voiced by Freddie Highmore ("August Rush"), realizes that his own purpose is to be the protector of the futuristic Metro City from the forces of evil.
"Astro Boy," could have spared the attention of so many parents whose children wanted to see it by jumping straight to DVD, but it did not.
7. More demonic than angelic. Lucky #7 is "Angels and Demons." The sequel to "The Da Vinci Code," reunites director Ron Howard ("Frost/Nixon") and Tom Hanks ("Forrest Gump"). Robert Langdon (Hanks) is called to the Vatican to unearth the truth behind the villains who are threatening to annihilate Vatican City completely.
Credit is due to Ron Howard, who creates a charged atmosphere in this movie, but there were so many twists and turns that it was difficult to keep up with.
As soon as one clue was found, another took its place, never leaving a moment to sigh or breathe. And the twist at the end of the movie was just one twist too many. "Angels and Demons," was simply overwhelming and overdone.
6. There is a reason dinosaurs are extinct. #6 goes to "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs." This latest installment in the "Ice Age" saga brings back the characters Manny, Sid, Diego, and Ellie, as voiced by Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Dennis Leary, and Queen Latifah. In this entry, Manny and Ellie are expecting their first child and Sid gets into a bit of trouble after he finds, steals, and raises a trio of dinosaur eggs, in which he angers the mother of the eggs and kidnaps him, prompting a rescue mission that leads the characters to a world they never knew existed.
This was the "Shrek" saga all over again. The first movie in the trilogy was amazing, the second was made because it could be done, and the last was only there to give the series a sense of resolution.
Nevertheless, the third "Ice Age" ranks on this list because of its expectant humor, and simple but stale story.
5. What's so funny about this? Halfway through the worst-of-the-worst of 2009, #5 belongs to "Funny People," directed by Judd Apatow ("Knocked Up"). "Funny People" stars Adam Sandler ("Big Daddy") as an actor who finds out that he is dying and decides to return to his standup comedy roots. He enlists the assistance of an aspiring comedian, Seth Rogen ("Knocked Up") to write jokes for him.
The movie is called "Funny People," but there was no humor from any actor in this movie whatsoever. The reason: the movie used Judd Apatow's same old approach to comedy, using the same actors, same directing style, and the same execution.
More was expected from Judd Apatow and he simply did not deliver. He stayed in his comfort zone instead of branching out and trying something different.
4. What a bummer . The number #4 worst of 2009 is "Taking Woodstock." Director Ang Lee ("Brokeback Mountain") has decided to tell the story of behind the greatest concert ever, through the eyes of Elliot Tiber, played by Demitri Martin. He discovers that an epic concert has been cancelled and decides to make a call to see if moving the concert to his neighborhood might drum up business for his family's hotel. He makes the call and Woodstock is born.
The movie completely loses base with audience by focusing entirely on one character instead of looking at the people who actually came thousands of miles to see the concert.
Also it was exhaustingly graphic with the scenes of drug use and nudity, and barely spent any time with the great actors who were shoved into minor roles. It was a disappointment.
3. All flash, no slash. Sliding into the #3 spot is "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," the origin story behind the great Marvel comics hero starring Hugh Jackman ("Australia") as the mutant with metal bones and claws. The film goes back to when Wolverine was a sickly child before moving on to when he the woman he once loved was killed by his brother Victor Creed, alias Sabertooth, played by Liev Schrieber. Everything after that was simply Wolverine hacking and slashing his way through the ones responsible for his lover's death.
With sloppy direction from Gavin Hood ("Rendition"), lousy visual effects, and a sleepy action story, "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," was doomed to failure.
2. These men need help. #2 on the list is "The Men Who Stare at Goats," a comedy starring Academy Award winner George Clooney ("Up in the Air") as an ex-psychic soldier who has been re-activated when his mentor, played by Jeff Bridges ("Iron Man), goes missing. Along for the ride is Bob Wilton, played by Ewan McGregor ("Star Wars I-III), a na've reporter who buys every philosophy Clooney's regiment spews.
This was the most outrageous movie based on a true story ever made. There was no comedy in this film; only skepticism.
The only sympathy for this movie has to go to the poor goats. Start to finish, this was a catastrophe from director Grant Heslov.
1. Boldly go… as far away as you can! Yes, the undisputed, unchallenged #1 worst movie of 2009 has to be "Star Trek." Director J.J. Abrams takes audiences back to the origins of the U.S.S. Enterprise and its crew, starting with Captain James Kirk, played by Chris Pine. The movie brings together the crew of the Enterprise, including Mr. Spock, by Zachary Quinto ("Heroes"), Sulu, John Cho, and Uhura, by Zoe Saldana ("Avatar"). The movie details the Enterprise's first mission, battling a vengeful war criminal from the future, played by Eric Bana ("Hulk," "Munich").
What truly killed this movie was practically, everything. From the directing, acting, and the story, everything was just atrocious.
The actors in this movie brought nothing to the table; even veteran Mr. Spock, Leonard Nimoy, failed to impress. His casting in this movie was completely cheesy and totally unnecessary.
The story was so bland and obvious; anyone could tell what was going to happen just before it did. There was no surprise in this story at all.
"Star Trek," was as boring as watching dirt stay still and deserves the #1 worst movie of 2009.
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