I'm So OVER?You
Markeya Jones
Issue date: 12/8/08 Section: Lifestyle
Breaking up is hard to do and getting over someone can be even harder. It may be difficult at first, but you have to set yourself up so you're not thinking about that person.
Sitting in your rooms with the blinds closed, lights off and the Do Not Disturb sign on your door for months is not exactly the way to go. You may be tempted to concoct ways to get back with him but before you do, ask yourself: Is it really worth going back? Do the pros really outweigh the cons?
Take the time after a break-up and make "you time." Do something that doesn't involve obsessing over your ex. See a movie, read a book, write some poetry, set new goals, volunteer somewhere, take a walk (not past his house!) or whatever it is that takes your mind off of him.
You may not think or feel it now, but those feelings will cease. Greg Behrendt and his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, author and co-author of He's Just Not That into You and a new book, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy offer valid advice on the hardships of breaking up. Their first book, He's Just Not That into You gives ladies a chance to re-evaluate how they pursue men.
Let's face it; we are able to tell how things will go in the beginning of a relationship. We set the foundations of it at the very beginning, so don't start with very low expectations and look forward to extremely high ones later. When we knowingly go after the "Oh so tempting bad boy" or the "playa" we get the predictable results. Enter the Behrendt's who, quite frankly, explain the best ways to get over a breakup.
So how do you know your relationship is coming to an end? There are signs. Things have slowly but surely been taking a change for the worst but perhaps you did not want to take notice. Behrendt explains, "Guys will pick fights over little things when they don't have the guts to get out of a relationship. So if you're fighting over leaving the curling iron plugged in, that's a probably a sign that something bigger is going on. He's just waiting for you to get mad and say something like, "Well, then maybe we shouldn't be together!" Then all he has to say is, "Good, I'm outta here." It's very sneaky." Behrendt calls this a "backhand breakup, meaning the guy has decided he wants to break up but he doesn't want to be the one to say so.
Sitting in your rooms with the blinds closed, lights off and the Do Not Disturb sign on your door for months is not exactly the way to go. You may be tempted to concoct ways to get back with him but before you do, ask yourself: Is it really worth going back? Do the pros really outweigh the cons?
Take the time after a break-up and make "you time." Do something that doesn't involve obsessing over your ex. See a movie, read a book, write some poetry, set new goals, volunteer somewhere, take a walk (not past his house!) or whatever it is that takes your mind off of him.
You may not think or feel it now, but those feelings will cease. Greg Behrendt and his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, author and co-author of He's Just Not That into You and a new book, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy offer valid advice on the hardships of breaking up. Their first book, He's Just Not That into You gives ladies a chance to re-evaluate how they pursue men.
Let's face it; we are able to tell how things will go in the beginning of a relationship. We set the foundations of it at the very beginning, so don't start with very low expectations and look forward to extremely high ones later. When we knowingly go after the "Oh so tempting bad boy" or the "playa" we get the predictable results. Enter the Behrendt's who, quite frankly, explain the best ways to get over a breakup.
So how do you know your relationship is coming to an end? There are signs. Things have slowly but surely been taking a change for the worst but perhaps you did not want to take notice. Behrendt explains, "Guys will pick fights over little things when they don't have the guts to get out of a relationship. So if you're fighting over leaving the curling iron plugged in, that's a probably a sign that something bigger is going on. He's just waiting for you to get mad and say something like, "Well, then maybe we shouldn't be together!" Then all he has to say is, "Good, I'm outta here." It's very sneaky." Behrendt calls this a "backhand breakup, meaning the guy has decided he wants to break up but he doesn't want to be the one to say so.
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